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first entry after new year Yeah.. ONLINE! As usual, my life is currently full with my projects and my projects and my projects, so it'd be boring to write it all here. Have to find another topic. mmm.. How about my pc. I got a new computer. No intention of showing off, actually. I just want everyone know that things are much easier with the new pc :D I don't have to be mad rendering the animation using the old one anymore. I saw the advertisement, called and the pc was delivered a week after. Got to save my money, no more shopping for couple of months I think. I don't care as long as I don't have to cry anymore when I do all my works. :D It's more than 2 weeks after new year. Happy new year ;p I've set lots of plans in my mind. Hope this year is going to be muuuch better than my past years. Can't believe that this is my late-teen-period. I'm getting older :|
Written by Dona at 1:03 PM | |
Apa dah! It's almost subuh and I'm still at the studio surfing the net. I can't believe they do have this free internet connection when I'm crazy doing my work at my room. It's been weeks since the last time I did my project at the studio. I prefer using computer to manual, that's the reason why I stay at my dorm. I'm jealous, actually I was such an internet addict before I stayed at a dorm where I live with an old computer with no internet connetion. Okay enough about this net stuff. -off- I wonder how my roommates are sleeping now with no fan. Yes, no fan. I did "jahanamkan" the fan. Actually what I did was to switch it off. Lucky just didn't come with me. It blew up because of my hands. Poor me. I'm going to make a report this afternoon. There'll be someone fix it. hmm :|
Written by Dona at 5:14 AM | |
Raya I can't believe I'm paying for a slow internet connection. I'm accompanying my father to check his email, so I have to be in this cc. So, how's everyone's lebaran?? Mine was quite good. My duit raya was less than past year's. hehe.. I think I'm getting older. People only give priority to younger children. I'm old enough :| Raya is not about duit raya. Being together with the family is the best thing that for me only happens when raya comes. But things are different since my grand pa died. Our family will never be the same again. Everyone kept saying "Tak best la tok pa tak dak". What can we do? Allah yang tentukan semua.
Written by Dona at 10:21 PM | |
Selamat Hari Raya I wake up this morning and I don't know why I felt a dead loss. My roommate has already gone, catching her bus. Of course she's going back to her hometown for celeberating this coming Eid. Last night I waited for my friends who were leaving, too. They took university buses which were parked not so far from my dormitory. Another member whom I haven't met for more than a week, send a message to me, said that she's already in Butterworth, waiting for the bus which would be taking her to Pahang. Everyone has gone. Left me. Most of my coursemates are leaving today. I really felt that our leave-taking became so hard to me. My next doors friends has already gone. This dorm looks a bit empty. I wouldn't have any story about kampung to be shared with anyone after raya. I'm not going home. But that's not it. I've found that today is the 30th and all heavy feelings were all absorbed out of me when I knew that my parents will be ariving this evening. I don't have to go home to celebrate Eid with my parents. I keep reminding myself "Hey your parents are coming, so relax!" Anyway, talking about balik kampung today would be a great day for my mom who's been leaving home for years. Eid becomes her opportunity to go back to her hometown. Every year she can't wait to see my grand ma whom I haven't met for nearly a month. (My grand pa went 3 years ago). Once again, I have to blame my assignments which made me neglecting so many things. My grams' house is actully not far from the campus. See how bad I am. Thank God today is not an off Saturday. This computer lab is not closed and I can freely use it. I'll be going back. I got a home here where my grand ma is waiting for me. The holiday just started and I have to set my mind to enjoy this raya holiday. My cousins from all over M'sia are coming InsyaAllah. There are about 42 of them (excluding me and my siblings). Every Eid my grams' home is full as usual. So, I'm afraid I'll have no time to be online till the school starts back :). I'd take today to give my very best wishes to everyone. Hope you'll have wonderful Eid, happy Eid! :) Maaf lahir & batin..
Written by Dona at 12:24 PM | |
Take care Everyone in the studio enjoys calling 'kambing' to anybody who doesn't take a bath. It's a usual thing. whenever we work at the studio 'till subuh some of us prefer to stay instead of going home, take a bath, do preparation for their classes. I didn't have enough time this morning. All I needed to do was to be on time for my 8a.m. class and guess what, my name for today is donambing. haha.. It doesn't sound good at all. I hate it. Hope this is going to be the last for me. It's getting closer to hari raya and I'm just sad. This is not a Ramadhan that I've been expecting. I've been sorta ignoring this Ramadhan. My assignments keep making me busy. This is totally different from those days when I was at school, when everyone reminded each other. When I got the opportunity to be with my 'chosen' friends who loved each other because of Allah. Who guided each other to stand back when any of us fell. I miss my friends. If they were here, they'd reminding me that life is not only the things that I see, that life has its own meaning and that each of us has something to be achieved. We're seperated. I think Allah wants each of us to do the same thing to our new friends, to guide and to love each other. But me, I think I just fail. I can't bring anybody, I can't even bring myself. I need to survive.. there's still a long long road to go. To everyone, I love all of you because of Allah. Take good care of yourselves.
Written by Dona at 11:10 AM | |
close Fuih..I just got the opportunity to be online. Hope everyone's doing fine^^ Thanks for everything. I'm very close to my project submission D-line. Got to have extra energy after struggling in my exhausting days. I'll write soon InsyaAllah.
Written by Dona at 10:39 AM | |
Rebel I find myself rebellious. I hate to be rebel, but when it comes out to my disssatisfaction that would be the only way for me to 'survive'. I don't like anybody who'd ask for trouble with me, even if they're my seniors. Who cares about seniors who don't even understand what respect is all about. What had happened was a group of troublesome creatures just stole our cubicle, a space in the studio where I and couple of my friends used to do our work. It was ours and it's already booked. Everyone knows it. Can't forget how I felt the next morning when I saw our stuffs were all out of the cube. I saw the partitions were already full of their stupid things with their notes and project schedule hanged up, complete with posters and other junks. They even put curtains, filled up the cube with things we never expected. They were all theirs, not ours which supposedly be there since last semester. The fact was they're really making it as their own place. Hit by a surprise when a 'note' caught my sight. It sounded "Don't move anything, this is our cubical." What a complete jerk. That night I went to the studio back to meet them. I talked, talked and 'shouted' to them. I was alone as my friends just tend to be 'good' juniors. Somehow, one of my friends helped me. I cared no more. Why do we have to be afraid when we're right. These seniors gave such excuses that didn't make any sense. I stopped and brought nothing. I'm out of my words. Got nothing to say anymore to these shameless girls. Somehow I'm the winner even if I don't get the cube back. I don't like my English teacher. That's it. It's been several times when I was against her. Opposite to her willing. She asks for our opinion, but she doesn't take it as a consideration. Don't know how to explain how complicated she is to me. To my dissapointment, it's me alone, again. The latest meeting she asked us whether we wanted to take Monday or Friday class. I don't like the Monday one for the time is too closed to my studio class. It's 1-2 PM while my studio is 2-4 PM. I'm afraid we'd be miss our Zohor. So I told her what I was thinking that we have to rush to pray and that Friday would be better and so on. To my disspointment, once again, she didn't even care about it. She asked the whole class which are mostly non-muslims and the result was they chose Monday. Who wants to study on Friday when everyone is thinking about weekend? So, I'll be attending next Monday's class. Poor me? No, not at all. I'm fine. Poor her, poor her for being blind.
Written by Dona at 10:09 AM | |
Puasa Selamat menjalani ibadah puasa di bulan Ramadhan yang penuh barakah dan semoga tertingkat keimanan dan ketaqwaan serta amalan kita disisi Allah swt That was a message from my lecturer which I got in my inbox today. It'd be nice if I give it forward to you. So, selamat puasa!
Written by Dona at 6:09 PM | |
Ibu's birthday It's my Mother's Birthday and I'm listening to Boyz II Men's "A Song for Mama."
Mama.. mama you know I love you How precious an ibu for me. I don't know how I could be if I grew up without my mother. As most asians would be, I'm not the kind who's free to say "I love you" to even my own parents. Those words could be the hardest things to say. Deep in our soul, we, do obviously love our parents. We just don't express it by words. I'm not talking about those who've already succeed in expressing their feelings. I congratulate you for that. I'm talking about those who're still afraid or shy. What I think is it's okay to be shy, it's okay to be afraid. Sometimes, our behavior is more than anything. We can 'act' to show our love. We can behave to prove how much we care about people we love. More than anything it could be everything. Just show as much as we can. It's like a language that has never been spoken. Can you see how amazing the language is that it's still understandable even when we've never learnt it or heard it? Simply.. because we're humans. I know my mother wouldn't probably read this. As prayers are always be our connections, so I'm sure she doesn't have to read this. Ibu, you know I love you.. Happy birthday.
Written by Dona at 3:27 PM | |
layout Fuih.. I've just tried new colours. I'll still be missing black. It's a break! A break for Mr. Black. hehe. We should try different things, or else we'd be stuck with no creativity. Am I right? There're so many ways to go to the top. You can take the stairs or fly. The first is more logic. Everyone knows that it's an annoying thing you should do, you've got no choice. So, take the stairs! (I'm not talking about escalator^^). Fly is more fantastic. But for God sake, do we have a pair of wings. Well, we don't even got one. So, stop dreaming of flying. We all realise that there're so many ways to go to every destination. You can take this or that road, that doesn't matter as long as you're sure you'll be there. But how about if you're so sure that you'll be there but once you're on your way, you feel lost?! O.. the answer is very simple. It's: You've chosen the wrong road, buddy! So are our roads, our life. If we fail to take our way then it means that we're choosing to be fail. It depends on us. Take the right way or you'll be lost. What I'm trying to say is don't be so sure coz you got to bring along your map, it's your guide. And be sure that your map can really be trusted? Don't take an invalid one, take the latest one, the one that has been updated. One thing, ask people whenever you're still not sure. I'm sure they'd help you ;)
Written by Dona at 6:13 PM | |
My father It was me..a 14-year-old Dona. Whenever anybody asked me who I prefer between mom or dad, I used to say "Mom of course." I, in fact, never liked my father. I didn't feel comfortable to be near him. Whenever we had a conversation, it would end with him or me angry. We do had different point of views. I didn't like the way he thought and he didn't like the way I shouted. If I turned back to the times when I usually had quarrel with my father, I'd really feel sinful and guilty. How could I do such an evil thing. What kind of person I am? Even I think animals don't do such a damn hell thing. No matter what, he is my father. "Ibarat kacang lupa kulit" that's how to describe how mean I was. God I never forget how happy he was whenever I got my report book with flying marks or the time when he knew that I was accepted to enter the university. It's been nearly 2 years since I moved and started staying away from my parents. This is the time when I raelly feel I'm nothing without my parents. I never felt so dependent like this before. I thought I don't really need them. I was wrong. My parents are actually everything for me. Their names are always in my prayers, this time it's real. I could feel more than anyone would probably feel. It's like every breath I take is every breath both of them take. Please forgive me ya Allah.
hate
I hate when things are out of my plan. Well, we're humans who only plan for the Lord is the One who manages everything.
Mak encik
Got an SMS from my cousin. She congratulated me for being a bibik of my grand ma. Shoot. Kuram asam betul.
I've been in my holidays for almost 3 weeks. Time really goes so fast. I have to stay at my grand ma's house and spend my holidays there for my father didn't let me go home :| Well, I'm okay. it's fine as I got the opportunity to take care of my grand ma. She's in her early 70s and needs someone to take care of her. She's fine accept for her left leg which she says hurts everytime she walks much. Well, my grand ma isn't the type who likes to sit or just stay in bed. She likes to work, clean the house. My grand ma is a lonely old woman since all of us lost our grand pa, that was about 3 years ago.
I didn't get the opportunity to take care of my grand pa before he died and I don't want the same thing to happen again. I got the chance and I'm happy to stay at my grams' house. I don't care what my cousin told me.
Back
I'm not dead, yet. I'm still alive and healthy alhamdulillah. I thought I would never blogging again, but then I realised that it's already become part of my life. It's part of me. I miss everything. I miss writing and I really lost my online friends.. even I have to admit that they're not many though. I hope they don't get sick of me. I didn't reply any messages. So sorry. Me forgiven?
What happen on the earth these days? All the murdered Palestenians, blast on Bali, Al-Qaeda being finger pointed, my getting worse English (that one is my bussiness)... (??) I'll be back.
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